goal #5

I hesitate to post this goal, but it's one that I really want to do. I don't know why I can't seem to make myself do it. Maybe it's because other things seem to vie for my attention and I let myself get distracted. I've heard that if something is important enough to you then you"ll find a way to make the time. If I say it's so important to me, why am I not making the time to...

goal #5 - draw a picture every day

goal #4

I'm really bad at this 'posting a goal every day' thing. Maybe posting a goal every day should be my goal today. No, I think I need a real goal (one that I might even be able to accomplish)...

goal #4 - Eat as close to the source as possible

goal #3

goal #3 - graduate from BYU

goal #2

Duh. I should be using some of the goals from our family point contest. I'll start with one of the ones I'm having a difficult time with:

goal#2 - Exercise daily

goal #1

When I sat down to write some goals tonight, waves of procrastination washed over me. To avoid drowning in a sea of unwritten aspirations, I decided I would write just one goal a day. I should be able to tread water for a little while until I think of some good ones.

goal #1 - finish reading the Old Testament by the end of the year

Our new 'Healthy and Happy' blog

For the record...I am turning over a new leaf and this picture should now be interpreted as me walking OUT of the konditori, not IN. Monday our family will be starting a quest to become healthier and happier and I will join them in not eating refined sugar, sleeping 7-8 hours a night, eating at least 5 servings of fruits and veggies each day, drinking 6-8 glasses of water and exercising daily. We will get a point every day for each thing we do. At the end of the year, the one with the most points wins. I hope to be a big loser. (Weight-wise, that is)

my first post

I've been thinking alot about death lately. Not in a creepy way, but as a way of coping with and analyzing some of the experiences I've been having.

My mother is 85 years old. She had a stroke a little over 2 years ago and hasn't been the same since. My daughter Willow withdrew from fall semester at BYU, took my mom out of the nursing home she'd been placed in, and stayed with my parents and took care of them for 4 months. My mother was on hospice at the time and we wondered if she was coming home from the nursing home to die. When Willow went back to school, my parents moved from Utah to Oregon to live with my family. At the time there was just my husband, my son Andrew and me living at home. We converted 1/2 of the main level of our house to an apartment for them.

My mom was still on hospice when they came to live with us. We wondered how many months she would be with us before she died. That was 22 months ago. My mom 'graduated' from hospice after the first 2 months in Oregon. She was placed on hospice again just before I went to Europe in August, 2 months ago. For a year and a half she was on a plateau, not able to take care of her basic needs. Now her health is failing fast and once again it seems like a matter of months, maybe weeks, before she passes away.

'Passes away' seems so much softer than saying 'she's dying'. That's what she seems to be doing, though. Each day I gradually watch her pass further and further into another sphere. She sleeps most of the time and when she is awake her eyes have a far-off look. If there is anything left for her to do in this life, it's too late. Well, maybe not. Maybe what she has left to do is passively bring family together or give me more chances to try to learn to be compassionate. I don't know.

Day before yesterday my sister's roommate died. She had spent much of her life in front of the TV or playing computer games. Now that she has passed on to another life, there is no more time to do anything with the life she had here. It's made me do alot of thinking about what I'm doing with my life. What opportunities am I missing? I want to die with no regrets. I want no feeling of emptyness left at my passing. Just joy at a life fully lived. Maybe another day I'll post some goals in my blog. For now I think I might just watch TV.

me and hans christian in Copenhagen